Poinsettia Popsicle

Last winter, when I was finishing my Fall 2004 term at the University of Colorado in Boulder before moving to the City of Roses, it happened to have a very emotional close for me personally. I had my last recitation of the semester for Humanities 1010, and my instructor, Kathleen Millersdaughter, was finishing discussing King Lear with the class and the themes on tragic heroism, tragedy, and disguises. By the end of the class, she made a personal statement of her overall thought of the class, saying something along the lines of,"Now's the time I make my annual personal final statement of my feel to the class. And honestly, I have to say this is the worst class I have taught in my years at this university. The few of you who did join into the discussions always, I thank you, but overall I am very disappointed with the many of you, and I can only pray that soon you can become one out there who shows a love for discussing and thinking and feeling!".

Then there was a student to the back of me who responded in a sarcastic tone, "Well, with all due respect miss, some of us just don't like to talk, ok?". That comment I can tell, looking at Ms. Millersdaughter's face, behind her eyes made mer cry, and trying not to experience a catharsis of tears, responded, "You know, I think you all better just leave!"



Personally, I could feel her pity so deeply in my heart, and because I found her all along to be a very honest and courteous instructor, I couldn't just leave a good person feeling powerless and defeated, as I believe it is a naturally born instinct to do something when one who is true is down. Wouldn't you have done the same thing? Anyway, as everyone else left Room 190 at Eaton Humanities, I went up to her and said, "Ms. Millersdaughter, I just want you to know that though nothing may change the fact that this was your worst teaching experience ever, that you truly are the best instructor I've had yet at this university and it is people like you who encourage my constant love of learning! And I want you to carry on this day, knowing you have at least touched one student this semester deeply, and I thank you! God Bless You and I wish you and your loved ones the happiest holidays!". Right after I expressed my sympathetic sentiment to her, I could see a tear slide down her right cheek, and she said, "Thank you Noah, and may I say that you were one of the exceptions I was talking about, and you gave me hope that maybe the youth of tomorrow can express more of a love and appreciation for learning and not being ashamed to discuss it! I really appreciate what you said, God Bless You and have a merry Christmas!"



Why'd I do this? Because I am the Mistletoe Angel and I believe in my heart that no one should show a frown or a tear unless it is one of joy during the holiday season! Ms. Millersdaughter's heart was filled with too much burdening weight, and I wanted to lift at least a little bit of it from her. And though I can tell that some students took what she said as an offense, I respected what she said because it is true. During those last four months, I was only one of four people in Humanities 1010-081 who actively participated in class discussions regarding the reading and its ideals and values they teach. And I do understand that some students are simply shy to express themselves or have learning differences, but then again, I feel it is disrespectful too considering they could have chosen to drop out of the class three weeks after it began, they had their class syllabus and should have knew what was coming because it was pretty well-said, etc. So it truly saddened me to see a majority of my class failing to show interest in the beauty of the arts and literature, or at least not try. This is exactly an example of what's wrong with America today, why much of our youth won't participate in elections, why they constantly rebel against their parents who are not abusive and not believing what they have to say, etc. It is sad to see, and why I helped out Ms. Millersdaughter.



I also did this because I so strongly desire to evolve into the most altruistic Scorpio. It is in the deepest understanding among astrologers that we are always growing and evolving as humans, therefore to each sign life is like a riddle we all slowly solve over the course of our lives and only illustrates the great journey of life. For my sign there are three stages of evolution; the first stage being where we exercise power through emotion and instinct (which is symbolized by the scorpion, which often tends to sting itself), the second stage exercising power through the intellect (symbolized by the golden eagle), and the final stage exercising power through love (symbolized by the dove of peace) I’m desiring to make every effort in evolving into the third stage, in setting myself free from all burdens of the past and using all I have to uplift others.

One example I made in getting closer to there this past year was when I went to the AFL-CIO union conference at the Oregon Convention Center last spring, and I had won a couple 70 pound bags of food in a giveaway. Instead of deciding to bring the bags home to snack on myself, I took the MAX down to Skidmore Fountain, walked to the rescue mission at 2nd and Burnside, and gave them to the needy there.

From what I've learned in my Motivation (Psychology 345) class this trimester, in Chapter 11 of Understanding Motivation and Emotion by JohnMarshall Reeve, Reeve acknowledges that "emotions are multidimensional" (Reeve 293) and that they have multiple characteristics, which include being subjective (making us feel a particular way and sprout from cognitive processes), being biological (generated from within our bodies in warning or preparing each individual for a particular event), that they are agents of purpose (encouraging "motivational desire to do what we might not otherwise do." (Reeve 293) ), and that they are devices of social phenomena (they portray to our friends, loved ones and strangers gestures and expressions which signal the very emotions we are feeling).



Why did I do this? Because I felt that subjective impulse in my heart which I’ve gained from experience with others, that I’ve talked and been with many individuals struggling on the streets, and I felt their needs had to be satiated. I felt that grumbling in my stomach in envisioning a nine-year old struggling to get by without a home, that biological beat, and so I felt that feeling of social awareness rise within me. Both those influences immediately sprouted that sense of motivation within me to speed up my walking pace and move all the way to the front desk of the Salvation Army, and moreover, with my lifetime commitment toward becoming that proverbial dove I desire to be, emotion channeled through my bloodstream as motivation to make this philanthropic gesture to all at the shelter.

There has been a long debate over whether emotional reactions require cognitions (cognitive perspective) or not (biological perspective). I believe if it wasn’t for understanding the values and necessities of giving, then I probably wouldn’t be feeling those emotional impulses, so I’m more inclined to believe in the cognitive perspective that “human beings experience a rich diversity of emotion because situations can be interpreted so differently” (Reeve 304) and “because emotion arises from a blend of cognitive appraisal, language, personal knowledge, socialization history and cultural expectations.” (Reeve 304)



I wouldn’t have responded with that degree of motivation had I not been awarded those bags of goodies. Because this was the given situation, it invited those responding emotions of determination within me to go and make a loan to the lord. Through my head I was immediately feeling the notion that “when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind and you will be blessed. Although they can not repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." (Luke 14:12-14)

In this particular experience, I feel that Buck’s two-systems view can clearly be recognized too. Though I credit much of my emotions from my upbringing and social interpretations, the emotion itself to be charitable was spontaneous and primitive, which together served as a synchronous force within me to “activate and regulate emotional experience.” (Reeve 300)

The first emotion reeling through my mind when perceiving the opportunity was fear, in imagining what could happen if the needy didn’t get my contributions, followed by an emotion of interest in being motivated to remedy the somber sight I envisioned, in “turning things around, upside down, over, and about that we gain the information we seek.” (Reeve 310) Finally, when I offered that 140 pounds of food to the volunteer at the front desk and received a warm smile in return, a great emotion of joy scintillated deep inside of me and fused a feeling of sprightliness in my heels all the way home.

The great painter Vincent Van Gogh once said, “Let's not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.” In embracing those emotions, indeed they “equip us with specific, efficient responses that are tailored to problems of physical and social survival.” (Reeve 314) and motivate us to become more motivated, cooperative people. I continue to have my sights on the horizon and hope to indeed be seen as the altruistic, healing dove, using the emotions that drive me to make a life out of comforting and aiding the less fortunate and those in need.

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Anyway, this is the holiday season, so time to put on a smiley face again! Santa is close to finishing up his vacation and is ready to rev up his sleigh jets again! Millions of children worldwide will be singing carols with their families and be showered in precious gifts. And the chestnuts will be poppin' like silver bells in the morning! But as always, I find it important that I must constantly remind everyone what the true meaning of Christmas is as there is nothing capitalistic about it. It is this very day we celebrate the birth of Jesus, our loving Lord. In Judah, Isaiah saw a vision that he believed God had gifted him with. He heard him say, "Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son" and that He would be a faithful and counseling King, and that He would be born soon where the morning star shines. Then an angel Gabriel came to Mary to tell her to prepare for the birth of a son she will name Jesus, the Son of God. She questioned why this may happen and said simply His power is within her and that's how she's a virgin and will give birth at Bethlelem. Afterwards, he met Joseph, who wanted not to get married but Gabriel encouraging him for the sake of this child and God.



Mary and Joseph would later both meet in Bethlelem, registering for a local census, but finding a hotel in the city with available rooms proved to be difficult. Urgently trying to follow the words of Gabriel, with every local hotel filled, they decided to go to a local manger to give birth to the child. Immediately, word got out of the birth by an angel and shepherds were offered praises to speak to this new-born angel boy. Meanwhile, three wise men, the Magi, came from the east, mentioning to Jerusalem they saw his star from where he was born in the east and encouraged King Herod (who would later betray Him) and his people to find Him. Herod would figure out His birth, while the Magi followed the star in the distance, finding Him cradled in the arms of Mary, and worshipped the boy with gifts and praises. In addition, God warned them all to stay away from Herod (sadly He would eventually be captured) as he would bring harm to the boy.



It was this glorious day that Jesus was born, the day of nativity, that the true spirit of Christmas is all about, and from this day, the ideals of giving and sharing have also become a magical and beautiful part of Christmas. I feel each year I must read this to the children as sadly the meaning of Christmas has taken a much capitalistic turn and in my personal opinion the world would be a much happier place if capitalism imploded and fell apart. This leaves many believing a material gift is the proper way of giving and simply giving the gift of love unconditionally won't satisfy. It is a sad truth I pray becomes eradicated someday and again the natural form of giving and sharing and peace on Earth is taught in every child's heart and from the child within all our hearts! I alone am not the only Mistletoe Angel, we can all be Mistletoe Angels (so many of you beautiful friends of mine already are anyway, yay!) and I hope that this happens! Mistletoe Angel is simply my personification of one who brings Christmas to everyone each day of the year, as I believe Christmas should be celebrated 365 days a year! So spread your wings, my Mistletoe Angel and Mistletoe Cherub friends!



Other than mistletoe (obviously, LOL!) there is one other ornament that I consider the most beautiful of all each Christmas that I love decorating my room in! Poinsettia, as my title for this entry suggests! Story has it that a poor Mexican girl named Pepita was trying to find a gift desperately for Christ at a local Christmas Eve Service. Walking to the chapel with her cousin Pedro, she was saddened and her cousin told her, ""I am sure, Pepita, that even the most humble gift, if given in love, will be acceptable in His eyes," Desperate to find a deserving gift worthy of Him, she went in the fields and gathered some weeds, making a nosegay out of them. But looking at them broke her heart more and made her feel more saddened she couldn't show her Lord her appreciation of her in her heart returning to her village. However, Pedro's words resonated back to her and filled her with a bit of confidence as she layed the weeds at the nativity service. Then, all a sudden, the weeds blossomed with red flowers, and everyone had witnessed a miracle.



Suddenly, the bouquet of weeds burst into blooms of brilliant red, and all who saw them were certain that they had witnessed a Christmas miracle right before their eyes. That magical evening the red flowers were cherished on and on to this day and were called "Flores de Noche Buena", or Flowers of the Holy Night, also called poinsettia. I share this cherished story tradition also as I find that a gift should never have to come from a store, it should come from the heart and a gift from the heart is always better and more pure and beautiful than one from JC Penney or Macys. Let all your giving come from the heart and come from above, yay!



For a special treat to y'all this holiday season, beginning Wednesday, I will be recording and covering Christmas carols in Production 2 at KBOO each day, and will be uploading each one of these covers with the help of my good buddy FileZilla for streaming here at The Serotonin Sandbox, yay! :) It's just my extra special way in spreading the formidable fruitcake falsetto this holiday season! (giggles) Many songs I'll cover will be your timeless favorites, but I might just throw a few pecans in there too, LOL!



God Bless You All and I wish you all the happiest holidays! Mistletoe Hugs for all! (sends mistletoe hugs to all you friends of mine across the world)

Love,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)