Ardent, Amazing Astrological Artichoke

I just thought I'd take the moment to share my full-length astrological reading to y'all, for y'all who want to get to know the widest breadth of me as influenced by the cosmos! (giggles) Here it is:

My Astrological Natal Chart

My Full-Length Astrological Report

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Section 1: General Characteristics

Your fundamental needs, values, and orientation towards life are symbolized by the four astrological elements. Each person has their own unique balance of these four basic energies: fire (warmth, inspiration, enthusiasm), earth (practicality, realism, material interests), air (social and intellectual qualities), and water (emotional needs and feelings).

Your "elemental make-up" is described below. Remember that most people are "unbalanced" or lopsided, and if you are lacking or deficient in a certain element (or elements), it simply means that you need to consciously develop that aspect of yourself to learn to appreciate and/or to work harder in that dimension of life.

Sometimes we overvalue the element that we are least endowed with, sensing it as a lack within ourselves, but more often we neglect or ignore it. The qualities described below will be reiterated and explained in more detail in the following chapters.

It is very difficult for you to be objective, detached, or to view a situation from anyone else's point of view - your own feelings and personal experiences color your judgment too much. Though you may sympathize or feel for someone, you may in fact not really understand where they are coming from.

You need to develop the ability to stand back and reflect on life, to analyze a situation logically. Also, it's very important for you to learn to communicate. Because you sense and feel so much, you may expect others to know what you are experiencing without telling them anything. As mentioned above, words don't come easily to you but you would benefit greatly by learning to articulate and express yourself verbally - otherwise you can stew in your own feelings too much, or find yourself at the mercy of your own poorly-understood emotional patterns.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 1:
Water is Strong, Air is Weak (F,E,A,W Scores = 4,8,1,36)

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Section 2: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others

The following is a description of your basic stance towards life, the way others see you, the way you come across, the face you show to the world. In Chapter 3 you will read about the "The Inner You: Your Real Motivation", which describes the kind of person you are at heart and where your true priorities lie. Read this chapter and the next one and compare them - there may be significant differences between them, in which case "the inner you" may not shine through and others are in for some surprises when they get to know you at a more than superficial level. This chapter describes the costume you wear, your role in life, while Chapter 3 talks about the real person inside the costume.

You are very strong-willed and proud, but intensely private and not easy to know well. Behind your quiet exterior lies a great deal of emotional depth, sensitivity, complexity, and also fierce determination. When you want something you go after it rather quietly but insistently and wholeheartedly - and you usually get it.

You are not a person who lives lightly or superficially. You want to live passionately and intensely and are not averse to challenge, danger, or to facing the darker side of life - human pain and struggle. You function well in crisis situations and often seek them out, for you enjoy the feeling of living at full capacity.

You are very intuitive about other people and especially about their unspoken feelings and hidden motives. You usually have strong, immediate gut reactions, either positive or negative, which prove to be correct. You approach life very instinctively and are not always fully conscious of why you feel or act as you do. You also have a very strong affinity with animals - an acute sensitivity and a nonverbal kind of rapport with them.

In relation to others, you are rather cautious, sometimes even suspicious, until you get to know and trust them - and trust doesn't come easily to you. When you commit yourself emotionally to someone, be it friend or lover, you are intensely loyal and devoted to them and you also expect the same kind of unwavering, undying loyalty in return. If you are ever betrayed by someone you care deeply for, you are capable of hating and retaliating with as much fervor as you once loved. Nothing is done halfway. In fact, you are intensely involved and often jealously attached to whatever you care about, be it person, idea, or cause. There is definitely a streak of emotional fanaticism in you.

Because of your natural reserve, others may see you as something of an enigma. You are quite self-protective and often defensive. You are also very magnetic, especially to members of the opposite sex.

You have a sweet, appealing demeanor and seem instinctively to grasp the concept that "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar". Your personal brand of charm is usually quite winning. You coax rather than coerce. However, if you do not get what you want, you are likely to resort to insincere flattery, wheedling, whining, or pouting rather than stating directly what you need, or doing for yourself. You seem to need others' approval first.

You are assertive and bold. You are willing to be the first person to speak up and make your position known, and to strike out on your own if necessary. You generally get along better with men than with women because your approach is quite direct and sometimes tactless and insensitive as well. You can be a bit too forceful. However, your boldness is your calling card, and most people feel that you can at least be trusted to be honest with them.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 2:
Scorpio Rising
Venus Sextile Asc.
Mars Sextile Asc.

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Section 3: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation

Many of the traits discussed in the previous chapter are emphasized again below. Your intuition is usually correct, but there are also times when you obstinately and passionately pursue your goal when a more flexible attitude and open communication with others would benefit you greatly.

Quiet, deep, emotionally complex and intensely private, you are not a person who is easy to get to know and understand. You are extremely sensitive but disinclined to show it, and you allow only a special few into your inner world. Like a wary animal, you are cautious and mistrustful of those you do not know until you "sniff them out". You are very, very instinctive and intuitive. You usually have a strong, immediate gut reaction to people, even though you may be unable to clearly articulate why you feel as you do. Your feelings and perceptions go deeper than words.

You also have a powerful need for deep emotional involvement and you form very intense love bonds and attachments. You are possessive and often jealous of anyone or anything that you perceive as a threat to your bond with someone you love. When you commit yourself to someone or something, you are wholeheartedly devoted and expect complete loyalty in return. You merge with or "marry" the person you love at a very deep level and therefore separations are extremely painful for you, and often stormy and nasty. When you have been wounded, you are not inclined to turn the other cheek and will retaliate if at all possible. Certainly you will never forget the injury and often you harbor grievances and resentments for a long, long time. Forgiveness doesn't come easily to you.

Whatever you do, you do with passion and fervor, and you often go to extremes. You are either hot or cold, never lukewarm about anything. You can also be very narrow: either you are 100% involved in something or else it doesn't exist for you at all. Rarely are you emotionally detached and objective. You definitely have a fanatical streak. You are also immensely strong-willed and your tenacity in pursuing your objectives often borders on being obsessive. Fierce pride, courage, and emotional strength are yours in abundance.

You love mysteries and are deeply attracted to the hidden, dark, secret side of life. You never take things at face value and are always probing beneath the surface of people and situations to discover what is REALLY going on. You tend to be more of a cynic than an idealist.

You tend to get involved in the helping professions or in activities where your efforts are hidden, behind the scenes, unacknowledged, or unknown to the public. Asserting yourself or getting up in front of an audience may be exceedingly uncomfortable for you.

You tend to see things from your perspective only and to be rather subjective. You also enjoy talking and expressing your views but you don't always listen as well. You have a clear mind, a love of learning and new experiences, and need constant mental stimulation and activity.

You have a mature and often somber demeanor. You are serious, reserved, self-disciplined, highly responsible and conscientious. You advance in life rather slowly, through your own efforts and persistence. You are also rather stern and judgmental, especially with yourself. Cautious and careful, it is difficult for you to really let go, to be spontaneous and playful. You like to be in control of yourself.

Inwardly you are zealous and fanatical, though you may hide your personal desires and intentions, and the intensity of your feelings. You are driven by a deep inner sense of destiny and mission and an almost compulsive desire for personal recognition. You have an infatuation with power and are incredibly willful and stubbornly fixated on achieving greatness or being Somebody Special. You tend to worship heroes who have powerful personal magnetism and charisma, and often seek to
emulate them. You have potential for tremendous good or tremendous evil.

You are very thorough and take your time thinking things through. You enjoy games that require a lot of concentration and thought, like chess for example. You also could find traveling very rewarding.

You have a strong will and great determination and are willing to work hard to reach your goals. You often take on more than your share and labor untiringly, sparing yourself no pain in your work. You should guard against over-exerting yourself physically.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 3:
Ascendant in Scorpio and Sun in Scorpio
Sun in Scorpio
Sun in 12th house
Sun Conjunct Mercury
Sun Conjunct Saturn
Sun Conjunct Pluto
Sun Conjunct Mercury/Saturn
Sun Conjunct Saturn/Pluto

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Section 4: Mental Interests and Abilities

You have good mental concentration and the ability to become completely immersed in your work. You seem to know things at an instinctive, nonverbal level and prefer learning through direct experience or apprenticeship rather than vicariously via books or lectures. You have mechanical ability and work well with your hands. You could become adept at sculpture, pottery, carpentry, stained glass, or anything that involves doing and making things manually. Biology (and related fields such as medicine) interests you as well. You also have an instinctive rapport with animals, and may feel you relate better to them than to people! You tend to become narrowly focused upon your own specialized interests and may not have much to say or communicate outside that field.

You don't speak up readily, even when you have a lot to say! Also, your mind tends to drift and you find it difficult to study very factual material that doesn't have much color or imaginative appeal. Your intuition and first impressions are likely to be quite accurate, however, and you tend to depend upon this faculty in making decisions.

Your mind is serious and deep, and you will rarely offer an opinion on any matter until you have thoroughly considered and studied it. You have excellent powers of concentration and enjoy studying or thinking deeply in solitude. You have an aptitude for research or doing mental work which requires precise, organized thinking, attention to detail, and a methodical approach. You are conservative and something of a skeptic, and may be narrow-minded and closed to new ideas, especially if there is no concrete proof or scientific verification of them. Socially, you are rather reserved, uncommunicative, and uncomfortable with light, frivolous conversation.

Suspicious that appearances are superficial and masking the "real nitty-gritty", you are always probing beneath the surface to uncover the deeper, hidden aspects of a matter. You are interested in anything secret or mysterious. You have great powers of concentration and a penetrating mind, with an aptitude for research, investigative reporting, or detective work. You are also keenly observant and seem to have "x-ray vision" regarding the inner motivations and intentions of other people. You could make an excellent psychotherapist, uncovering the deeper causes and roots of a person's emotional problems. You may also be drawn to esoteric or occult studies and the development of unusual mental powers. Stories of mystery, intrigue, and espionage fascinate you.

You know what you want to accomplish and have a tendency to strive toward a superior intellect. You are prudent and a convincing speaker with the ability to influence others. But you push yourself tirelessly and tend to overstrain your nerves.

You are very thorough and are likely to commit yourself to some type of study or research work. Not very talkative, you try to avoid contact with others as much as possible and prefer to do your work in seclusion or solitude.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 4:
Mercury in Scorpio
Mercury in 12th house
Mercury Conjunct Saturn
Mercury Conjunct Pluto
Mercury Conjunct Sun/Pluto
Mercury Conjunct Saturn/Pluto

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Section 5: Emotions: Moods, Feelings, Romance

You respond very much to the emotional tone and atmosphere around you, and can be dominated by your fluctuating and unpredictable moods. You often appear irrational to others because you cannot always explain the reason or source of your feelings. Anyone who lives with you must accept your ups and downs and appreciate your need for times of withdrawal.

You are also very sympathetic and understand the unspoken feelings and needs of others. You take slights and rebuffs very personally and though you may forgive a transgression by a friend or loved one, you never forget it.

You may have done extensive traveling in your early years, or in some way had a background which enables you to understand and identify with many different types of people or cultures.

You have a craving for things which are far away and foreign or for things you have never experienced before. You want to completely immerse yourself in the feelings and tastes of a new place, rather than simply have facts or an intellectual appreciation. Emotionally, too, you are restless and something of a wanderer.

Highly sensitive and rather easily taken in, you need to beware of deceiving yourself and allowing others to take advantage of your impressionability or gentleness. Daydreaming, fantasizing, or other forms of imaginative, escapist behavior (such as watching television excessively or living your life through romance novels) could be something of an addiction for you. You tend to confuse images with reality and need to learn to be more circumspect and discriminating. Disappointments through women and in close relationships may occur if you do not.

You have intense desires and feelings and your personal relationships are deeply emotional, passionate, and often stormy and painful as well. There are powerful magnetic ties between yourself and those you care about, and you could become emotionally obsessed by another person. Your feelings can become so urgent and compelling that you do things that are not rational. You undergo periodic emotional upheavals and purging, when you must break all ties, release the past and begin anew.

You are quietly devoted and faithful to your loved ones, and often become a kind of servant to your love partner. You are more comfortable showing love for someone by doing something for them, making something for them, or simply being there for them -rather than telling them so in a romantic, soul-stirring sort of way. You are timid about expressing too much sentiment or emotion. You also underestimate your attractiveness and lovability and doubt your own worthiness to receive love and appreciation.

Promoting beauty, the arts, or entertainment can make you very happy. You want to contribute something positive and loving to the world at large and you want to be recognized for your beauty, artistic gifts, or loving generosity. You may "marry" your work - that is, be more involved in your career than in your private life. You are a natural hostess or diplomat.

You are extremely amorous and it is difficult for you to go without a romantic involvement for very long. When you are attracted to someone, you pursue them very ardently and sometimes come on too strong. Doing creative work or artistic work can also satisfy the very strong desire for love and beauty that you feel.

You may be subject to periodic changes of mood, are serious, somewhat somber, and you seem to lack confidence in yourself and could have trouble giving of yourself. You tend to withdraw from others, expecting to be disappointed if you let anyone come too close.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 5:
Moon in Cancer
Moon in 9th house
Moon Quincunx Neptune
Moon Square Pluto
Venus in Virgo
Venus in 10th house
Venus Conjunct Mars
Venus Conjunct Moon/Saturn

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Section 6: Drive and Ambition: How You Achieve Your Goals

You are a perfectionist and have high standards for your own work. You often feel that if you want something done right you must do it yourself, for others do not do as thorough a job as you do. Doing a task well is very important to you, and you may labor over minute details that others wouldn't bother with. You strive for accuracy, efficiency, and precision, and you become very irritable when things are not done "right".

On the other hand, you can become so much of a perfectionist and so self-critical that you will not even attempt many activities and projects, feeling that your efforts simply won't be good enough. You are usually modest and realistic in assessing what you can accomplish and, if anything, you underestimate yourself. Of course, practice makes perfect, and if you do apply yourself diligently in some area, you gradually gain self-confidence as you master skills and develop expertise.

You conserve your energy and pace yourself so that you do not waste or diffuse your efforts. An unwillingness to take risks or venture from the beaten track can sometimes limit your opportunities. In short, you may not aim high enough and settle for too little in life.

You are likely to be known for your drive, energy, ambition, and competitive spirit. A successful career based on your ability to take initiative, be a leader, or excel in physical strength and prowess is likely. You most definitely want to be a winner and will work hard to achieve that.

You seem to lack determination and have a sense of inferiority. You tend to think negatively about yourself and are inclined to downgrade yourself. But you have strong self-control, accept hardship well and have the desire to overcome your difficulties.

You have a spiritual gift or vocation which colors your personal ambitions and drive for achievement. Helping people or serving the Whole is part of your role in life. Music, the arts, entertainment, and/or using imagery, visualization, or imagination can be aspects of your work in the world, also.

You have an aptitude for detective or research work, or any field that involves digging beneath the surface for the hidden elements. An interest in psychology, hypnosis, and utilizing subconscious forces or subliminal messages may well be a key factor in your career.

Whatever your choice of profession, you are apt to feel a sense of inner mission about it and may pursue it with great zeal and intensity.

You have a natural ability to integrate with groups and could very well form your own associations or groups. There is likely to be a special soul-link between you and the friends you choose. You also have a tendency to fight other people's battles.

You have a desire to teach other people what you know and may be interested in a career that serves the public through some educational programs. You are a very stimulating companion, but want to be the central figure in dicussions.

You are inclined to be a bit eccentric, and difficulties with members of your family or friends may cause you to feel depressed and alone frequently. You may be drawn more to older people.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 6:
Mars in Virgo
Mars in 10th house
Mars Conjunct Moon/Saturn
Neptune Trine MC
Pluto Sextile MC
MC Conjunct Sun/N. Node
MC Conjunct Mercury/N. Node
MC Conjunct Saturn/N. Node

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Section 7: Growth and Expansion: Areas That You Enjoy

Your strength lies in your ability to see the whole, rather than only the parts which compose it. You have a deep need to explore the world and to develop your own philosophy of life and sense of personal meaning. You vacillate between being open-minded and tolerant of differing views, and being dogmatic or overly zealous about your own viewpoint.

You have an optimistic outlook on life and to others you appear jovial, confident, and expansive. You do what you can to be encouraging and helpful to other people, and your generosity and lack of pettiness makes you very well-liked.

Because you see yourself as a lucky person, you may feel that you can "get away with anything", without negative consequences. You tend to go to excess and have little sense of moderation (or even caution, at times).

You are very enthusiastic and high-spirited. You inject a positive, optimistic note into any endeavor, and others enjoy your fun-loving and enterprising attitude.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 7:
Jupiter in Sagittarius
Jupiter in 1st house
Jupiter Conjunct Uranus

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Section 8: Areas That Challenge You Or Are Difficult For You

You both yearn for, and fear, being emotionally vulnerable with others and experiencing deep emotional intimacy. Trusting others and letting yourself be known in a deep way doesn't come easily to you, and sexual inhibitions may result from this. You are very self-protective and may be compulsively secretive. Learning to relinquish control in personal relationships, and to be completely open, are important tasks for you.

You may have nebulous but ever-present guilts and fears that are difficult to pinpoint or eradicate. It's as if you don't trust Life itself, and are always seeking ways to defend yourself from its dangers and its unknowns. You must learn to overcome your ingrained habit of discouragement and anxiety, and to see the world more as a friendly place than as a treacherous one.

Basically shy, you tend to be somewhat inhibited in love and may feel uncomfortable or awkward expressing your love for someone. You long for love and dream about love, but also are inclined to torment yourself because of a seeming lack of affection.

You are inclined to feel inferior and may easily be taken in by others. You have to guard against being deceived or used by others, though your intentions may be good. Don't let your desire to have things cloud your ability to see what is really happening.

You often may be coerced into doing things that you don't want to do, leaving you frustrated, irritable and touchy. You could turn hard and unforgiving toward others and may break up some important relationships.


Now we will discuss patterns of behavior which you instinctively and habitually revert to when under stress - a mostly unconscious process and one which you are apt to overdo because it is so familiar and thus easy for you. The direction you need to follow in order to develop balance, greater awareness, and wholeness is also described.

You need to take what you have learned (either through formal education or your own questing and life experience) and share it with others, communicate it, express it in a way others can benefit from. Knowledge and understanding which does not enhance the quality of life for yourself and others in your world is of little real value. Putting your understanding, philosophy, and convictions into practice in your daily
interactions with people, and in the multiple small choices you make everyday will enable you to really test your belief system and discover more about life.

When under stress you are apt to seek refuge in imagining that the grass is greener elsewhere, rather than working with what is at hand. Cultivate your ability to live in the present!

The arena you are most likely to wrestle with these issues is in relationships that are more than superficial or casual - in particular where you and another have merged emotionally, legally, or financially. You will see these issues arise in close partnerships of any kind, especially when there is a mutual dependency on one another. Dealing with in-laws, inheritances, and legal matters involving joint custody, shared assets, and resources is also a part of this.

You tend to be a bit too idealistic and may place too much hope on your associations with others, resulting in frequent disappointments. You could be attracted to naive people, but some of your contacts also may turn out to be swindlers.

You tend to be fascinated by new and obscure things and may be strongly attracted to the occult. You may contribute to spontaneous forming of groups and could gain spiritual enlightenment together with other people.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 8:
Saturn in Scorpio
Saturn in 12th house
Saturn Conjunct Venus/Neptune
Saturn Conjunct Mars/Neptune
Saturn Conjunct Pluto/Asc.
N. Node in Gemini
N. Node in 8th house
N. Node Opposition Jupiter/Neptune
N. Node Opposition Uranus/Neptune

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Section 9: Originality and Imagination: Areas Where You Are Creative, Unique, Unstable, or Compulsive

You are an unconventional and innovative person, and you are seen as a rebel, reformer, or highly unusual in your manners, appearance, or attitudes. You enjoy being unpredictable, and you do not conform to the standards that other people have set. Above all, you are an individual, and you do what you please regardless of customs and norms. Your environment and life circumstances may change frequently and abruptly.

You may have a great deal of confusion over money, financial matters, and ownership. Perhaps these things mean very little to you. Or possibly you simply don't know how to deal with them in a realistic, effective way.

Also, you may make your living through artistic, musical, or highly imaginative endeavors.

You have a deep interest in secrets, the underworld or unconscious, and anything hidden and mysterious. Psychoanalysis, investigating your dreams, and other methods of uncovering secrets are very interesting to you. You may be exceptionally perceptive intuitively or psychically. Your emotions and subconscious energies are complex, and periodic transformations and personal crises are sprinkled liberally throughout your lifetime.

You tend to submit to other people's wishes too easily and put their needs before your own. At times you may suddenly realize their underhanded motives and find out that they were only trying to deter you from the pursuit of your objectives.

Your desire for love is very strong and you are extremely popular. You have what it takes to fascinate many people and are likely to have a good measure of social power. Your generosity is great, and no one who comes to you for help will be turned away.

You have an extraordinary spirit of enterprise and seem to be a born entrepreneur. You are inclined to take on big projects or enterprises and are likely to have unusual successes. You probably experienced definite successes early in life.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 9:
Uranus in 1st house
Neptune in 2nd house
Pluto in 12th house
Uranus Conjunct Neptune/Asc.
Pluto Conjunct Venus/Jupiter
Pluto Conjunct Mars/Jupiter

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Section 10: Generational Influences: Your Age Group

In this chapter we will discuss characteristics and traits of your generation. Of course, you may not share all of the characteristics of your generation, but you are greatly affected by the tone that is set by your generation.

The first topic is "The Subconscious and Emotional Drive of Your Age Group". In this section we will describe a deeply felt urge, even compulsion, of your age group. This deeply felt drive comes to the surface with great force and power, and consequently leaves in its wake considerable upheaval and change. The second topic is "The Ideals and Illusions of Your Age Group", that describes the dreams, fantasies, and spiritual aspirations of your age group. The third and last topic is "What is New and Different in Your Age Group", which describes areas in which your age group tends to be innovative, inventive, unusual, and also where it may be unstable and unreliable.

The characteristics described below may affect a group of people for anywhere from a few years to about 30 years. There are one or more different astrological factors described in each of the three sections below.

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The Subconscious and Emotional Drive of Your Age Group

You are part of a 12 year group of people who are deeply interested in personal relationships. Your age group has a deeply-rooted yearning to see people relating and communicating with each other effectively and harmoniously. There is little egotism and a willingness to hear the other person's side of the story and a readiness to compromise and arbitrate different points of view. In fact, the need for harmonious, peaceful relationships is so strong that there is a tendency to overlook real differences and to focus only on the similarities in an attempt to bring different parties into harmony with each other.

Interest in psychology and sociology is high in your age group. There is a tremendous heightening of awareness of social skills. Your age group will experiment with different marriage styles, family relationships, and even business relationships in an attempt to bring fair treatment and effective communication between people. Interest and appreciation for other cultures is also strong, and your age group will work hard to preserve and support the cultural heritage of all ethnic groups.

Your strong yearning for equitable and harmonious relationships is also reflected in major advancements in trade agreements, arms control, and international cooperation that are designed and implemented by your generation. These agreements and policies foster a much safer and more cooperative environment for all, although there is also a tendency for greedy individuals to take advantage of the conciliatory atmosphere and twist situations to their own ends.

In short, you are part of a generation of individuals who are deeply interested in other people; you are a humanistic and humanitarian group. You will struggle and experiment with personal relationships, and forge new models for how people can relate as friends, family members, and members of nations as well.

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The Ideals and Illusions of Your Age Group

You are part of a 14 year group of people that are extremely idealistic and farsighted in their dreams. Your age group is very liberal and expansive in outlook, and consequently churches become much more flexible and more eclectic in their approach during your life time. Religions that do not adapt to the broad-minded attitude of your age group simply are unable to attract very much interest and involvement from you.

A great deal of metaphysical musing and speculation is evident in your age group, and there is a very strong interest in all manner of psychic phenomena, UFO's, prophecy, etc. This interest will open many new doors and insights, but will also often lead to a great deal of fantasizing and speculation that is taken more seriously than it should be.

The entire generation to which you belong has tremendous opportunities for spiritual rebirth and awakening. This will not be forced upon you or precipitated by unavoidable events, rather it comes from an inner yearning and a natural propensity to seek the depths.

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What is New and Different in Your Age Group

You are part of a 7 year group of people who are extremely enterprising and forward-looking. You are optimists and explorers. Your age group shoots for the stars, figuratively and literally. Space exploration takes on new dimensions as your age group pushes fervently to the next frontier. There is a buoyant and youthful optimism and enthusiasm in your group, and you have your share of great discoveries as well as pipe dreams and disillusionment. The discoveries and contributions, however, are many, and more than compensate for the failures.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 10:
Pluto in Libra
Neptune in Sagittarius
Neptune Sextile Pluto
Uranus in Sagittarius

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Soon I hope to have other entire astrological read-outs available on other topics, yay! :)

XOXO,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)

Never Hold Discussions With The Monkey When Doyle Brunson Is In The Room

Holy Homo Erectus! Here’s news that’s nutty as 12 monkeys in a 10 monkey barrel!



Watch Mikey The Chimp Go Ape On Newscast!

You better believe it! The concept of the “poker face” is about to be re-defined, as Mikey the Chimp, Elkton, Maryland’s 4 ½ year old hairball owned by Judie Harrison, the media’s philopatric primate who has divided and conquering jungle after jungle, from delivering Chimp Grams (a bouquet of jungle print balloons with autographed greeting cards and a fifteen-minute show) in clown outfits, to pushing his own merchandise line on CafePress, to performing live shows at the Wilmington Flower Market, to fast breaking and slam-dunking on the basketball court during half-time, to going bananas on a Baltimore news program, to even earning a mug shot on the CD cover of the Black Eyed Peas’ “Monkey Business” and Goodie Mob’s, “One Monkey Don't Stop No Show”, as well as centerfolding the covers of FHM and Vogue Magazines, is about ready to retire to a life of peace and quiet, but before he does so intends to cap his impressive resume with one final crowning achievement; 2006 World Series of Poker Main Event Gold Bracelet Champion! :)



Oh, giggling, eh? Well, I’ll have you know that this plucky primate is so dead serious about claiming victory, he even went through an intensive poker training program in preparation for the tournament to end all tournaments at the Rio Casino in Las Vegas, including being trained professionally in recognizing colors and shapes of suited cards, perform on television, and wear a green poker visor and sunglasses. In fact, Mikey is proving to be so intimidating he and PokerShare.com, who has backed Mikey the Chimp, is challenging a journalist in a one-on-one poker match live, as well as vowing to pay any player who loses to Mikey to come back to next year’s Main Event, where any money he wins in this tournament will go toward his retirement, with PokerShare also hoping to draw further attention to animal preservation and education.



Indeed, animal show business remains a most sensitive issue to this day, where in some areas I am deeply concerned about how animals are treated. I can understand, for instance, how young chimps can emotionally and psychologically be affected in being separated from their mothers at young ages, as most monkeys stay with their mothers until the age of eight. But I think what Judie Harrison is doing is nothing like what scientists do in testing products on primates, and when there’s no pain or jail cells involved in having monkeys in show business, I’m absolutely fine with that, and word has it that Harrison is planning to take their earnings from photo shoots and parties and build a $1.2 million habitat on five acres of land for Mikey’s own mini-sanctuary. Indeed, chimps can live to such great ages, where Cheeta, the star of a dozen Tarzan movies in the 1930s and 40s, is still living in Palm Springs.



Watch Mikey The Chimp Hold 'Em!

Watch Mikey The Chimp Go All-In On Good Morning America

Watch Mikey The Chimp After A Good Day's Play

It proved to be a hairy situation finding a non-human poker-playing candidate, with PokerShare.com spending hours in arduous research about poker-playing monkeys around the world, until drafting Mikey, the brainiest baboon around. His favorite move is going “all in,” and you can watch streaming video of Mikey practicing his “all-in” moves with trainers via his website, www.MonkeyShare.net. Yesterday afternoon at Palms Casino Resort at The Real World Suite in Las Vegas, Nevada, Mikey the Chimp appeared in a special press conference which centered around Mikey’s professional poker training, where guests received free banana splits and tall, foaming glasses of Bannarama Vodka Blended’s, on the eve of the commencement of this year’s World Series of Poker, which kicked off today.



So, we’ll wait and see if Harrah's institutes a new rule for the 2007 World Series of Poker that forbids any player from flinging his own feces during the course of tournament play. My hunch is as long as Mikey doesn’t have a wardrobe malfunction, he’s in the clear! (giggles) In fact, I am praying that whatever happens, Mikey doesn't knock out Phil Hellmuth or Mike Matusow, or they might start releasing press releases at him saying, "You can't even spell poker!" or "Quadrupedals can't even carry their chips!" Viva las Vegas & the World Series of Poker!



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Meanwhile, in the neighboring Golden State, Fresno's KFYE-FM 106.3 station has overwent a major bawdy baptizing, from Christian music, sermons and Bible parables to "Why Don't We Do It in the Road" by the Beatles, "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye, "Strokin'" by Clarence Carter, "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred and "Nasty" by Janet Jackson beginning last week, as this Kingsburg station, formerly a K-LOVE affliate station, is now declaring itself "Porn Radio", with the moniker "all sex radio, all the time," where tamer songs like Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight" are also heated up by adding recorded moans and groans.



Yep, ever since Jerry Clifton, a man known for stunts with radio, also CEO of the Scottsdale, Arizona-based Pro-active Communications-Fresno purchased the station on July 17th from the Educational Media Foundation for $3.75 million, his latest quirk has generated controversy in the land of raisins, as even his two radio stations in Spokane, Washington have never attempted the "Porn Radio" format yet. The station is currently being operated out of a trailer in Kingsburg, and Clifton is working hard to move his studio into downtown Fresno.



Currently the station is commerical free, with songs on KFYE only separated by promotions for the station, with pre-recorded messages including "We are the only radio station with a stripper pole as a broadcast antenna" and a suggestion that those younger than 21 should turn off their radios because the station features "mild sexual content."



Anyway, good luck, Mr. Boombastic, you may be greeted there with some non-sexual groans at first, but everyone loves a smooth operator! So just rest that slow hand on the soundboard, just take it slow, and get in the groove! (Shucks, now here I am leading a parade of double entendres!, there's such a sweet pandemonium to radio! )Wow, come to think of many of these songs look tender-hearted and tame in comparison to some of my songs. In bridging both this story and the World Series of Poker together, check out this song I wrote titled "69 Suited".



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69 Suited
By: Noah Eaton
11/21/05

Baby, it’s cold outside,
the furnace just won’t comply,
mmm, so what’d you say we reside,
as slaves to each other tonight...

Mmm, dirty girl, let me be your rising tide,
and you can be my honey guide,
I want to taste everything you are far and wide.
Come on and slip off that hair slide,
let your hair wash over me like a high tide,
this buffet for two is all-you-can-eat, baby!

Mmmmm, what a way to live,
when you get what you give,
so let me dig through your bush,
and you can have my meat and potatoes,
ohhhhhhh,
my arms are wrapped around your thighs,
you spread your legs open wide,
as you suck my pride,
in our ravenous collide,
mmm baby, mmm baby,
let our world of numbers blow our minds!

You say, “Mmmmm, thank you!”
I say, “Mmm, you’re so welcome!”,
whatever may cum,
we will succumb,
you’re a ribbon of flesh,
wrapped around me tight in mesh,
I swear we can’t let each other go,
oh, oh,
we’re really going at it now,
whoa whoa!

Some may say it’s uncomfortable,
inconceivable, unthinkable,
to engage upside-down on any floor show,
we say,
“Malarkey, let’s get this show on the blow!”

Your hands know how to work a massage,
your lips speak moans in barrage,
I swear you feel just like a mirage,
every time I close my eyes licking your clit.
I love the way that you glow,
melting together in our shadow show,
partaking your every hole,
as you prepare for your Big O!

Mmmmm, what a way to live,
when you get what you give,
so let me dig through your bush,
and you can have my meat and potatoes,
ohhhhhhh,
my arms are wrapped around your thighs,
you spread your legs open wide,
as you suck my pride,
in our ravenous collide,
mmm baby, mmm baby,
let our world of numbers blow our minds!

You say, “Mmmmm, thank you!”
I say, “Mmm, you’re so welcome!”,
whatever may cum,
we will succumb,
you’re a ribbon of flesh,
wrapped around me tight in mesh,
I swear we can’t let each other go,
oh, oh,
we’re really going at it now,
whoa whoa!
.
.
.
Ohhhhhhhhh,
mmm, ah, mmm ah,
mmm mmm, mmm mmm,
mmmmmmmmmm...
.
.
.
Mmmmm, what a way to live,
when you get what you give,
so let me dig through your bush,
and you can have my meat and potatoes,
ohhhhhhh,
and once you’ve sipped every drip of me,
soused with sweat, limping eurythmicly,
when you feel that rug burn on your knees,
will you immediately get hot for me,
mmm, will you cum running back to me?

You say, “Mmmmm, thank you!”
I say, “Mmm, you’re so welcome!”,
whatever may cum,
we will succumb,
you’re a ribbon of flesh,
wrapped around me tight in mesh,
I swear we can’t let each other go,
oh, oh,
we’re really going at it now,
mmm yeah,
and I say, “Mmmmm, thank you!”,
you say, “Mmm, you’re so welcome!”,
whatever may cum,
we will succumb,
you’re a ribbon of flesh,
wrapped around me tight in mesh,
I swear we can’t let each other go,
oh, oh,
we’re really going at it now!

WHOA WHOA!

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Good luck, Jerry, and good luck, Mikey! Don't drop the F-bomb and you will be fine! Thank God "69 Suited" hasn't made it.....yet.....to Clifton's abode, or I'll be 325,000 Leagues Under The Green! (giggles) Monkey see, monkey do, monkey raise! :)

XOXO,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)

Brown Sugar And Black Magic Voodoo

Here's the first three poems in my new erotica spin-off, "Maithuna Mysophilia's Magnetic Mirror Of The Mind"

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Nayika Siddhi
By: Noah Eaton
7/15/06

Myriads of confessions of a fire dancer,
pole-dancing on the tip of my tongue,
brown sugar and black magic exteriorized,
uninhibited desire once thought unsung,
myriads of confessions of a fire dancer,
pole-dancing on the tip of my tongue,
brown sugar and black magic exteriorized,
uninhibited desire once thought unsung.

Let’s get to the point, smoldering siren,
I’m looking for a brawl of a close call,
your breathing place is my breathing space,
yield and restrain me, I’m your Wanga doll,
let’s go yodeling in the gully, whistling in the weeds,
jiving and juking, 120 in the shade,
talking in deep hues of magnolia,
shifting into first gear, laid, relayed and parlayed.

Myriads of confessions of a fire dancer,
pole-dancing on the tip of my tongue,
brown sugar and black magic exteriorized,
uninhibited desire once thought unsung.

Woman,
there’s nothing more erotic than being understood,
I’ll be the usher in your hall,
offering dirty sweet charity,
opening up, giving you my all,
lay yourself out on display,
where I’ll shower you with roses and raptures,
wet and willing in a spot of heavy breathing,
screwed, blued and tattooed in slow exotic southern exposure…

Myriads of confessions of a fire dancer,
pole-dancing on the tip of my tongue,
brown sugar and black magic exteriorized,
uninhibited desire once thought unsung.
Myriads of confessions of a fire dancer,
pole-dancing on the tip of my tongue,
brown sugar and black magic exteriorized,
uninhibited desire once thought unsung.

Can’t explain,
this ceaseless fate of this femme fatale,
scorch me to cinders if you must,
so I’ll be reincarnated,
in the heat of your voodoo charm…
.
.
.
.
.
(Si vis amari, ama!)
.
.
.
.
.
Can’t explain,
this ceaseless fate of this femme fatale,
scorch me to cinders if you must,
so I’ll be reincarnated,
in the heat of your voodoo charm…

Myriads of confessions of a fire dancer,
pole-dancing on the tip of my tongue,
brown sugar and black magic exteriorized,
uninhibited desire once thought unsung.
Myriads of confessions of a fire dancer,
pole-dancing on the tip of my tongue,
brown sugar and black magic exteriorized,
uninhibited desire once thought unsung.

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Ben-Wa, Pharaoh Of The Pheromones
(Part Of: "Maithuna Mysophilia's Magnetic Mirror Of The Mind")
By: Noah Eaton
7/17/06
.
.
.
Veedle-de-doo!

(Ohhhh!)

Veedle-de-doo!

(Mmmmm!)

Veedle-de-doo!

(Ohhhh!)

Veedle-de-doo!

(Mmmmm!)
.
.
.
What would you give to send your spirits aloft,
give a bit of hard for a bit of soft,
I know how to quaver your soft spot,
on the spot get you all white hot,
get you on top,
I’m the Courtier of Wet Dreams, Ben-Wa,
my desires smolder like a sauna,
wearing pearls dissolved in vinegar like Cleopatra,
giving a length of tongue of mira puama,
glamorizing and gilding the lily,
fingering the skin harp silly,
licking the sap from the anvalli tree,
just to achieve extracurricular activity immortality.

They call me the Pharaoh of the Pheromones,
with psyche sound drenched in abalone,
when my whispers head straight for your limbic lobe,
like clouds of silkworm moths you’ll be on the probe,
my flesh session’s anything but vanilla,
and will short-circuit your sensilla,
creep around the sheets like a chinchilla,
get hilt and hair like a gorilla.

Eager beaver, eager pleaser,
we’ve both been stricken by this relapsing fever,
let me be both your fever and reliever,
you’re my achiever, believer and receiver,
absinthe can make the heart grow fonder,
transmitting radar love via theobromine transponder,
and between the sycamores of turquoise,
I’m drenched in your humid soprano voice.
show me where the sun doesn’t shine,
let me dive in your canyon and blow your mind,
the eye that weeps most is best pleased,
mmm, you’re a plastic explosive begging on your knees.

They call me the Pharaoh of the Pheromones,
with psyche sound drenched in abalone,
when my whispers head straight for your limbic lobe,
like clouds of silkworm moths you’ll be on the probe,
my flesh session’s anything but vanilla,
and will short-circuit your sensilla,
creep around the sheets like a chinchilla,
get hilt and hair like a gorilla.

I’m the irresistible desire that always flares,
between your legs as you sit in that rocking chair,
blazing like a solar flare,
an erupting Vesuvius beyond compare,
sweet pillow-biter, don’t be shy, free your hips,
we’ll get drunk on philters like Apuleius,
let’s get mischievously lascivious,
scream like an annular eclipse over the Giza pyramids,
I’m not divine, just all Vitamin E and phenylethylamine,
just feeling my way with you to runner’s high heaven,
mmmmmmm, you’re my honey nut,
(Let’s skimp the small talk, darling King Smut!)

They call me the Pharaoh of the Pheromones,
with psyche sound drenched in abalone,
when my whispers head straight for your limbic lobe,
like clouds of silkworm moths you’ll be on the probe,
my flesh session’s anything but vanilla,
and will short-circuit your sensilla,
creep around the sheets like a chinchilla,
get hilt and hair like a gorilla.
.
.
.
Veedle-de-doo!

(Ohhhh!)

Veedle-de-doo!

(Mmmmm!)

Veedle-de-doo!

(Ohhhh!)

Veedle-de-doo!

(Mmmmm!)

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On Va Chez Toi Ou Chez Moi?
(Part Of: "Maithuna Mysophilia's Magnetic Mirror Of The Mind")
By: Noah Eaton
7/21/06
.
.
.
(J'ai une déclaration à te faire…
.
.
.
…en dehors de tes yeux, il n'y a pas de jardins…
.
.
.
…j'entends ta voix dans tous les bruits du monde…
.
.
.
…je t'aime à la folie…
.
.
.
…fais-moi l'amour!)
.
.
.
You’ve got doll’s eyes that sensationalize,
improvise and exercise before my eyes,
upon me and a canvas of clean sheets,
you debrief your wanton motif,
smother me with belief and pain relief,
incarcerating me in a spot of heavy breathing,
I’m your white swallow whistling in the dark,
you’re my village bicycle speeding from the stars,
and this heat wave is just too sinfully handsome,
so let’s spread some good leather,
roll in the heather in the altogether,
impale me softly with your nymphomaniatical love.

My desires are firing like shooting galleries,
let’s burn away thousands of calories,
just free your hips and let yourself go,
synchronicity is something that cannot be measured,
because you’re my principle of pleasure,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
on va chez toi ou chez moi?
.
.
.
(Allons faire la bête à deux dos!)
.
.
(Allons faire la bête à deux dos!)
.
.
.
Forget getting gravel for the goose,
let yourself loose and dare to induce,
and seduce me with your pussy talk,
you’re my Messalina complex,
flexing your burlesque respects,
you got my head swooning around the clock,
you blanket me with positive perceptions,
you’re my little death and my conception,
fervid with the nectar of the goddess,
let’s surrender to the humidity,
fetish me with your fluidity,
we’ll go skinny-dipping on the pillow slip…

Let’s let our desires fire like shooting galleries,
let’s burn away thousands of calories,
just free your hips and let yourself go,
synchronicity is something that cannot be measured,
because you’re my principle of pleasure,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
on va chez toi ou chez moi?
.
.
.
(Allons faire la bête à deux dos!)
.
.
(Allons faire la bête à deux dos!)
.
.
.
Ohhhhh, ravish me with your fire,
glaring white hot with animalistic desire,
don’t be timid, don’t be shy,
smile for the camera and give the glad eye,
come and give it up to me!
(Lechez ma chatte, s'il-vous-plait!)
come and try to break me!
(Je jouis!)

Let’s let our desires fire like shooting galleries,
let’s burn away thousands of calories,
just free your hips and let yourself go,
synchronicity is something that cannot be measured,
because you’re my principle of pleasure,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
on va chez toi ou chez moi?
Let’s let our desires fire like shooting galleries,
let’s burn away thousands of calories,
just free your hips and let yourself go,
synchronicity is something that cannot be measured,
because you’re my principle of pleasure,
mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,
on va chez toi ou chez moi?
.
.
.
on va chez toi ou chez moi?
.
.
.
On va chez toi ou chez moi?

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XOXO,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)

"Mr. Roboto & The Inter-Being"

I just thought I'd openly share with y'all a labor of love in which I wrote for my University Studies 254G: Popular Culture class last trimester at Portland State University, regarding the 1983 Styx smash "Mr. Roboto" and an analysis of this song as a cultural artifact through our times.

Immensely I enjoyed University Studies 254G, which was taught by Thomas Harold Fisher, who has been an assistant professor at Portland State University since 2000 and who also has a love for literature and poetry, whose writings have appeared in publications as diverse as LVNG , Delmar and The Culture Society. He’s currently teaching a summer American Poetry class (English 477/577) which I certainly would enjoy having if I had the opportunity. He’s an affable, bounteous, warm-hearted intellectual with a worldly vocabulary and mature yet youthful curiosity of how culture and the world is shaped which you’ll find fascinating if you ever have a class with him, with University Studies 254G filled with engaging texts including Slavoj Zizek’s "The Desert of the Real", Lynn Spigel’s "Entertainment Wars", Naomi Klein’s "Culture Jamming", Charles Bernstein’s "Play It Again, Pac-Man", Anne Marie Schliener’s "Does Lara Croft Wear Fake Polygons?" and, of course, Philip K. Dick’s "UBIK", along with several quizzical films; "Merchants of Cool", "The Yes Men" and "eXistenZ".



So, for a final project, me and my classmates were asked to select a cultural artifact (song, sports franchise, game, amusement park ride, etc.) and then run an analysis of the artifact from a cultural standpoint. Thus, I embarked on a time machine monkeyshine back to my year of birth, found that indeed "Mr. Roboto" began enslaving the unwashed masses and haunting the eardrums of the riffraff, and abracadabtron.....this essay was born!



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Noah Eaton
June 7, 2006
University Studies 254G


"Mr. Roboto & The Inter-Being"


In February of 1983, after celebrating a decade together as a band, Styx released a concept album titled Kilroy Was Here, inspired from a popular graffiti said to have originated from an American shipyard inspector during World War II. The opening track on this record is titled "Mr. Roboto", a song which launches the odyssey of a former rock and roll superstar named Rober Orin Charles Kilroy who was imprisoned at a Paradise Theatre concert by the MMM (The Majority for Musical Morality), a group with its own television network that becomes influential in the American political mainstream, accusing rock and roll music for the moral decay of the nation and eventually succeeding in banning rock and roll before. Following the coup, he was charged for murder and delivered to a prison ship with other rock stars.

Years pass with Kilroy remaining behind bars, and robots constructed from Japan have taken over all the menial jobs humans used to perform, working primarily as prison guards. Kilroy has become a counter-cultural icon in a movement destined to resurrect rock and roll into the social climate, and the leader of the movement, Jonathan Chance, is able to contact Kilroy through the manipulation of the media and help him plot his escape, which he does through defeating a robot and disguising himself as a "Mr. Roboto", which summarizes his conflicted thoughts in his escape from the prison ship, as well as an ode to the robot.

Yet, it is curious in observing that "Mr. Roboto" is considered Styx’s only song that is categorized in the New Wave music era, which arouses questioning into why this sole song alone in Styx’s catalogue would be depicted as archetypal to the music cultural response to the French cinema movement in the 1960’s, where famous directors of the times rejected conventional artistic ideas to rather delve deeper into the use of abstraction and symbolism, and moreover reflect on themes that would become centerfold to the New Wave music movement in the U.S including alienation from society and corporate oligopoly. It should also be considered that Styx wasn’t exactly a stranger to these themes, as they had tackled unemployment in songs like "Blue Collar Man" and raising youth as consumers in "The Grand Illusion". Thus, it is necessary to examine the underlying influences to this quintessential single, and scrutinize how it continues to be used to this day, as well as who uses it.

When most of us first think of "Mr. Roboto", we are instantly reminded of the catch phrase, "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!" which is generically defined as one of several Japanese words that means "thank you". Yet, as Reverend Nancy E. McDonald of Bull Ran Unitarian Universalists of Manassas, Virginia explains in her November 21, 2004 sermon titled "Domo Arigato", "words show themselves to have roots, beginnings, hidden messages in their very origins that point to the nuances of their onetime meanings." (McDonald 1) She adds that the word "arigato" apparently "originated in the influence of Buddhist priests who brought their religious practices and language to Japan from Korea and China." (McDonald 2) and "comes from the root words ‘ari’ meaning ‘to be’ and ‘gatai’ meaning ‘to be difficult.’" (McDonald 2) Roughly it becomes translated as "to be difficult without", which when perceived this way hardly sounds like a cheerful customary greeting. But she adds that a Buddhist teacher by the name of Reverend Gayoko Saito, when asked what the phrase means to him, responded, "too difficult to exist without. That is, without your kindness, without your criticism, without everything of every sort that you are for me." (McDonald 2)

In observing the roots and deeper meanings of this customary Japanese phrase which drives "Mr. Roboto" to infectious heights, it can be identified there is an underlying social call for interdependence which, as another Buddhist teacher cited by McDonald named Thich Nhat Nanh explains, "to be is to inter-be. You cannot just be yourself alone. You have to inter-be with every other thing." (McDonald 2) Therefore, in re-analyzing the lyrics to "Mr. Roboto", we sense a duality, a rift between humanity and futility:


"I’m just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control
Beyond my control-we all need control
I need control- we all need control."


Yet, what external force is spearheading this de-harmonization of humanity? T.J Myers, a Syracuse University student who wrote a popular essay critiquing underlying social themes in "Mr. Roboto", argues that "the true meaning of this song is hidden in the words and expresses Dennis DeYoung’s (the lead vocalist and writer) thoughts about the average blue-collar worker." (Myers 4) who "first educates the listeners about the workers in their meaningless lives." and "sings of how the workers are human on the inside, but on the outside, treated sub-human, as if they only exist for the company’s profit." (Myers 4) This lyric emphasizes the central point given to the song:


"The problem's plain to see: too much technology
Machines to save our lives. Machines dehumanize."


In his conclusion, Myers argues that "Mr. Roboto is a song that addresses the issue of class, specifically the lower working class." (Myers 4) and adds that in the final stanza of the lyrics, it can be perceived as the workers reaching some sort of self-awakening and declaring, "The time has come at last, to throw away this mask, so everyone can see, my true identity, I’m Kilroy..." Could this be ultimately what Kilroy and Chance were really challenging; not so much the fact that Dr. Everett Righteous usurped them of their rock and roll pride, but that his regime was connected somehow to the ultimate goal of globalization and worldwide oligopoly, the very pet peeves that frustrated personalities like Seymour Stein and The Talking Heads?

"Mr. Roboto" could be depicted as Dennis DeYoung’s artistic statement to social class in result of globalization. In "Marxism and Class Theory: A Bourgeois Critique", Frank Parkin speaks of the concept of social closure, which he defines as "the process by which social collectivities seek to maximize rewards by restricting access to resources and opportunities to a limited circle of eligibles." (Parkin 143) He goes on to suggest that through political practices of subordination, the privileged are attempting to patent themselves as an exclusionary group to protect their power and authority, while those that are excluded are those who are impoverished and are attempting to seek greater power by "usurping" their resources. He says that in defending their control of power in a modern capitalist society, the exclusioned uses the "institution of property" and the use of "academic qualifications and credentials", both devices employed to permanently seize capital and to restrict access to key areas in labor from the lower classes.

The rebellion in which Kilroy exercises in "Mr. Roboto" can very well reflect the determination of the excluded, or workers and rock stars in the song, to restore the de-centralization of power that was lost since Dr. Everett Righteous, with his uncanny knowledge of how the media works and operates, began his political crusade to consume capital and control, which Chance succeeds in doing just that by "usurping" the media of the MMM to break the mind-control signal that was manipulating Kilroy, which led to Kilroy’s capability of escaping.

In a July-August 2005 edition of the Monthly Review titled "The Renewing of Socialism: An Introduction", John Bellamy Foster explains that "beginning in the 1980s a more naked capitalism, known as neoliberalism, came into being." (Foster 14) which "the goal was to remove all barriers to the increase of capitalist profits and savings and to the free flow of capital across the globe." (Foster 14) which its restructuring he insists has come to cutbacks in wages, high unemployment and underemployment, reduction of state welfare spending and tax reform designed to redistribute income and wealth from the poor to the rich. Foster explains that "socialism led by the associated producers must seek to turn the enormous productivity of modern society to other ends than the accumulation of capital." and "exploitation in the labor process needs to be eliminated through workers’ own self-organization." (Foster 19) This "self-organization" is what appears evident in "Mr. Roboto", led fictitiously by Kilroy and Chance, and the ideals of it shared by many of the New Wave artists and thinkers from the 1960’s through the mid-1980’s, including former Devo frontman and popular film score composer Mark Mothersbaugh.

Though "Mr. Roboto" was largely interpreted as Kilroy’s mere dedication to the robot he battled in order to free himself from prison, as well as the moral panic that still erupts over particular types of rock music as it went on to rise to #3 on the U.S pop chart and sell approximately two million copies, the disgruntled blue-collar worker interpretation also proved to have legs, and remains a popular debate in pop culture discussion today, with some even arguing that one of the lines in the lyrics was, "machines to save are lies". (although official album sleeve lyrics read as "machines to save our lives")

This interpretation likely lasted with the downsizing of the 1980’s, along with the late 1980’s recession following October 19, 1987’s Black Monday where the Dow Jones Industrial Average collapsed 22.6%, which eventually also led to the Savings and Loan crisis, which devastated the savings of millions of Americans and triggered higher levels of unemployment. And, as economist Paul Ryscavage wrote in a July 1994 edition of the Monthly Labor Review, in result of the corporate downsizing, "Not only did the gap between low-wage workers and high-wage workers widen, but the percentage of workers in the middle of the distribution thinned out, resulting in larger percentages of workers at the bottom and top." (Ryscavage 1)

To many, "Mr. Roboto" remains an anthem that urgently is concerned with the issue of class and the general distrust of the alliance between mass technology and corporate influences and the pessimism in that this will never benefit the social class and only divide it. However, it is also fascinating to point out that in most recent of years, the single has been seemingly "counter-usurped" by the commerical media, and is being promoted virtually in opposite of the song’s theorized social convictions.

In 1999, Volkswagen aired a commerical campaign featuring American actor Tony Hale, who danced to "Mr. Roboto" in front of the featured automobile named Golf in one prominent television commerical clip. Coincidentally enough, on an episode of Arrested Development titled "The Ocean Walker" which aired last December, the character Buster, who so happened to be played by Tony Hale, danced to this song again as a satirical reference to his 1999 Golf ad appearance.

Moreover, "Mr. Roboto" has been used as the theme background music for a particular key award in every year’s FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology) Robotics Competition, debuting in 1992 and has remained an enduring tradition ever since, organized to get high school students interested in becoming engineers by giving them real world experience working with professional engineers in developing these robots, where over a thousand teams worldwide compete in building robots over a month and a half that are capable of competing in a particular game, including robotic wrestling, robot racing and rope climbing, something which could certainly make Jonathan Chance panic, "Oh no, not the Goodwill Games too!"

And finally, of course, the endless laundry list of generic pop-culture references to the track, from Pinocchio’s Far Far Away Idol performance of it on the Shrek 2 DVD, to a recent spoof of The Matrix Reloaded on the 2003 MTV Music Awards, where Justin Timberlake danced the Robot while someone dressed as the Oracle exclaimed, "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!"

Whether it was Dennis DeYoung’s true hope in publicizing this bold statement of class issues to mass audiences, speaking out against the vocal detractors of the rock and roll zeitgeist brainwashing our children with recondite political messages, or well-intended simply to write an unavailing, silly, pell-mell pop song, "Mr. Roboto" is destined to remain brass tacked to the playlist of 97.1 Charlie FM until the end of time, unless an equivalent of the Majority for Musical Morality tells us otherwise. Until then...Ohayou Gozaimasu (Good morning), Wakamaru! :)

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Ehhhhhhhh.....made your thinking of the smash alter, I take? (giggles) Anyway, two weeks after the final day of class, I came over to Professor Fisher’s office and spent about twenty minutes or so talking about the paper, and he ruminated a bit on his summer poetry class and some featured authors, and if you are out there reading this, professor, I will indubitably be more than blessed to continue dropping by to chat about culture, poetry, maybe even Pluggie the Fireplug Robot, who knows? LOL!



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Watch HRP-2 Prommet Walk On Rough Terrain

Watch HRP-2 Stand Up With Face Downward

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Ooohhhhh...and while we’re on the subject of robots real quickly, I’d like to toss a black blizzard of baby showers for Kawada’s Japanese Humanoid HRP-2 Promet, who no more than two years ago wowed the wide world over in Tsukuba City when this five-foot tall (154 centimeter tall) magnanimity machine, weighing a total of 127 pounds, showed it could walk in confined areas with its cantilevered crotch, getting up without need of assistance when it falls over, crawling on all fours to get out of narrow spaces, and understanding human dialogue including "turn on the TV" and "get beer from the fridge" after being designed by Kawada Industries and Mr. Yutaka Izubuchi, a mechanical animation designer famous for his robots that appear in Japanese anime, including the cult hit "Patlabor." who also gave this cyber chum his name. Since then, he has been taking up drumming, performing at the 2005 Aichi World Expo site, at Nagakute, Japan.

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Watch HRP-2m Choromet

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Now, last Memorial Day at the Robotics and Mechatronics Symposium of the Japan Society of Mechanical Engineers, HRP-2 gave birth to a homunculus, hyper-drive hybrid who already has such a striking resemblance to his father, who goes by the name HPR-2m Choromet. He is only 35 centimeters tall, developed by General Robotix, Inc, Moving Eye, Inc., Pirkus Robotix, Inc. and Dai Nippon Technical Research Institute, and with 20 degrees of freedom can also get up like his father. Ohhhhhh mmmyyyyy, how they grow up sooooooo fast! Never change.....for the love of Tron, never change.......now get me a cactus juice quencher! (giggles) I think I'm having one of those Mobile Suit Gundam nerdgasms! :)



And if anyone dares to give your Choromet crumbcruncher a megabyte of a time, news flash, Digital Daddy has been mastering the art of the staff, and he won't hesitate to go bojutsu on you, as his kata demonstrations at the 2005 International Robot Exhibition in Tokyo on November 30th, 2005 prove he's not bluffing.



Who's.....your.....dad.....dy?

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XOXO,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)

No Soup For You, Soup For UK, Wardorf Salad Bars For You!

Well, doesn't that take the biscuit! It appears the original “Soup Nazi”, New York chef Al Yeganeh, who has ran a well-known soup restaurant named Soup Kitchen International at 259-A West 55th Street in The Big Apple since 1984, whose character inspired the famous Stalin-mustached mogul that is the Soup Nazi named Yev Kasem (played by Larry David), who demanded that all customers in his restaurant follow his exact soup-ordering instructions word by word or face the blistering repudiation, “No soup for you!” on an episode of Seinfeld aired November 2, 1995 and now saturates syndicated television from local networks to TBS, who Cosmo Kramer’s inspiration Kenny Kramer argued that Yeganeh's nickname is unfair, and jokingly suggests his nickname be changed to Al, The Soup Rat Bastard because of indeed having a reputation of both serving great soups and rudely treating customers…….(rises up to the surface for air)…….is now prepared to divide and conquer the world, one nation at a time (ducks and covers)



Yes sir, the very man whose inspiration even inspired a category of its very own in a November 30, 2004 Seinfeld-themed Jeopardy! Episode which is the very episode that snapped Ken Jennings’ 74-time winning streak, is prepared to cross the pond and get quids in with his Original SoupMan franchise. So be prepared, Britons, as he will be charting the waters of each and every one of your canals within the next year, opening fifty new franchises in London, Manchester, Birmingham and every roundabout and zed bend in-between, offering not only one seafood, one vegetarian, one spicy Mexican chili, one clear both, several wild card soups and chilled in-season soups in every restaurant, but the rules as well! Dun-dun-dunnnnnnnnn! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Naaahhh, the directions are far more straight-forward and as plain as a pikestaff…..just make sure you pay attention, and remember Yeganeh’s Standing Order go as follows:



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1) Pick the soup you want.

2) Have your money ready.

3) Move to the extreme left after ordering.

4) If you want bread, crackers, or other condiments…order them with the soup.

5) Line must be single file.

6) No talking, kissing, hugging, etc. in the line. (Hey, now that I can’t accept, endorphiny is my creed……hey…..what are you doing to me.....no....NOT THE END OF THE LINE, ANYTHING BUT THE END OF THE LINE!!!!!)

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Perhaps I should just settle for some homemade chicken soup for the soul to save all the unnecessary effort! (giggles) But his ssssooouuppsss arrrreee sooooooo tttassssssstttyyyy! LOL! Anyway, good luck conforming to the creed of the Original Soup Man, mates! This experience may be as queer as a clockwork orange to the lot of you, but in the long term everyone will be much happier. No longer will you have to succumb to the salmonella of semolina, no longer will you have to sweep those rollmops under the rug, no longer will you be smacking on your black pudding Snack Packs, no longer will you go plotz on your plonk, and especially no longer will you be trippin’ upon chippies and mushy peas. Allow Mister Yeganeh to pull up a bollard for y’all and open all you rugger buggers to the chowder, bisque, vichyssoise and old Uncle Tom Cobley and all. I’m tellin’ you, he’s gonna put y’all over the moon, but please, oh please…..do not mention the war (I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it alright, heh heh heh!)



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Ahhhhhh yyyeeessss, speaking of the war....ooops, sorry sorry, I mean, that is to say.....on a related topic, the real-life locale of BBC’s cult classic comedy “Fawlty Towers”, Torquay’s Hotel Gleneagles, soon will no longer have herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plains, fire alarms that are not a semitone higher than the burglar alarms, all you-can-eat wardorf salad bars, and for the Chef De Jour a packet of sliced hippopotamus in suitcase sauce.



Yeppers, soon the Hotel Gleneagles will be standing out like chapel hatpegs, as it is preparing to undergo a huge luxurious facelift expensed at one million pounds (or $1.8 million dollars), including a new ground-level swimming pool and al fresco dining area, a conservatory, and a luxurious main lounge. In addition, the ceilings have been raised, Italian chandeliers have been installed everywhere, chairs have been imported from Holland, new carpets have been installed around every corridor, forty 40 skip-loads of rubbish have been removed, and all 41 bedrooms now boast balconies and half enjoy sea views, which a double room with breakfast now costs between 140 and 180 pounds…..all the very things Basil Fawlty could ever begin to pine for. The co-owner Brian Shone says the new management team is aiming for a "boutique style without the cold shivery-ness of some London boutique hotels". Ahhhhhh yes, and perhaps we should check to see if they’ve moved the hotel a lil’ bit to the left.



Despite being refurbished into a boutique hotel, not all the kippers and corpses of yesteryears will come to pass. There will be a selection of TV paraphernalia in the lobby, although everything else on the seven-acre facility will be free of talking moose heads, demented hotel managers that visit you in the small hours of the night and put bats up your nightdress and thrash their own cars with tree branches, senile Majors, and enormous savage rodents that answer to the name of Sybil (except of course for the fact that Prunella Scales, who played the force to be reckoned that was Sybil Fawlty on “Fawlty Towers” will officially open the revamped hotel on September 18th.)



“Fawlty Towers” was born after John Cleese and the rest of the Monty Python rat pack booked into the Gleneagles hotel during the 1970’s, which they said was then being currently ran by a bugger named Donald Sinclair and his wife Beatrice, who Donald was a naval officer when his wife acquired a private house on the English countryside and worked to turn it into a hotel, naming it Gleneagles to honor her Scottish heritage, which the real-life Gleneagles has long been far greater than the “Fawlty Towers” hotel. However, Cleese and others of the Monty Python crew have long mentioned that their experience with Donald Sinclair at Gleneagles was a most tumultuous one, being so ferocious that he would become the true-life embodiment of the Basil Fawlty character. He was especially known for going ballistic when watching them hold and use their forks and knives incorrectly, as well as throwing one of their briefcases over a wall because he mistook it for a time bomb.



Yep, due September 18th, they’ll have everything…..handbags…..knuckle-dusters…..flick-knives, sorry sorry, and they’ll no longer ever be out of Wardorfs! (giggles) So go on, get out on the tiles and get all cockahoop! Oh, and by the way, Manuel is enjoying a wonderful life back in Barcelona now, learning how to make a nice, hearty hammer sandwich and perfecting his acclaimed world-class ratatouille with his secret ingredient. You guessed it; lots and lots of basil! ;)



Blimey, I’ve talked too much here again! Now, if you excuse me, I’m gonna get me a room, with breakfast in bed: eggs, bacon, sausage, tomato, Waldorf Salad, and all washed down with lashings of hot screwdriver! (giggles) Oh, wait, can I exchange the eggs, bacon and sausage for tofu, gluton and green curried rice?

XOXO,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)

Annexing The Pleasurable Playground Beyond The Sandbox

Yippey-doodle dandy, I got my first-ever official non-advertising comment here at home sweet home, this Serotonin Sandbox, from my fellow, floaty, palsy-walsy Triple Aquarius sidekick, D.J Wagner! :) She is the pony-tailed prima donna of the front desk at KBOO every Wednesday afternoon and early evening, who is seldom seen without a Cheshire grin on her face and certainly is the ultimate Aquarius, LOL! Though Aquarius is one of the least compatible signs with Scorpio, I have always admired Aquarians in that they have a rich, worldly, humanitarian philosophy they breathe and live at heart, and really I, being a Scorpio who can tend to stubbornly cling to a particular opinion and such, respects and learns so much from Aquarians in that they honor truth ever so diligently in life and are always willing to see both sides of every story without preaching to the choir and rather sing in the middle of the aisle. Often I hear them depicted as the “hippy sign” and I have to say I absolutely agree with that from my experience, in that they ensphere the Quaker notion of being “open to truth, from whatever source it comes," and have a little piece of everyone in their social, multi-cultural free spirits.



Aquarians are really one of the most spiritual signs in the zodiac, who believe in the universal recognition in that we are one global, holistic family, and also ignite the spark in the more practical of minds and hearts to motivate and use their intellect to fulfill their missions of magnanimity for all of mankind. In fact their love for society is so unconditional that they can tend to feel isolated from the world at large often, and I can very well relate to that experience as Scorpios like myself are also concerned with justice and don’t make friends that easily either because of our early heartaches that lead us to not helping but distrust most later in life. Aquarians are positively progressive and visionary and I believe if we could patiently and calmly look them through the eyes more often, and explore the spark of largesse foaming like blue moon kissed waters across their coronas, we can all reach a worldly awakening and see things through for future generations for the better.



Yesterday, I was as happy as a coon eating grapes introducing D.J to the News Department, and helping produce her glorious debut report on last week’s 2006 Waterfront Blues Festival setting an all-time best in total donations contributed to the Oregon Food Bank. Again, I would just like to take the moment to thank both all you wonderful folks out there who tuned in and heard me showboating on and off about the live music and the dragonflies darting about at Tom McCall Waterfront Park, as well as all y’all who helped eliminate the root cause of hunger in Oregon and Clark County, Washington with your generous contributions to the Oregon Food Bank, go ahead and grandstand and rodomontade all you want, you deserve it, LOL! Anyway, yes, the Safeway Waterfront Blues Festival splinterized the previous donations record set in 2003 of approximately $364,000, collecting about $545,000 at the gate and 103,501 pounds of food, and D.J announced it as proud as a peacock in her hopped up premiere. Just like with helping make Edison Garder’s home-grown, environmental KBOO beat “Our Backyard” a staple sensation every Wednesday, D.J is destined to become the next perennial persona grata of the KBOO Evening News, yay! :) And again, thank you for illuminating the Serotonin Sandbox with your friendly illuminations of your own! (giggles)



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Anyway, I am preparing to annex this pulsating playground beyond the Serotonin Sandbox, as my poetic pheromones are prepared to surmount and spring from my testosterone trampoline into a new erotic, estrogenic estuary. Mmmmm, you heard me right, I’m preparing an erotic spin-off to the Emmanuel Endorphin’s Serotonin Sundae concept poetry series titled ”Maithuna Mysophilia’s Magnetic Mirror Of The Mind” As some of you may be aware, my love for wordplay and puns originated from my flirtatious rhyming and coupling of sexy, saucy words from erotic dictionaries and sites which would certainly be most suggestive to many, LOL, and then after writing early erotica I developed a love and appreciation for the playing of words in all genres, and this new concept poetry series takes all you space cadets into a whole new endorphiny estuary, through the deepest and most delicate desires and fantasies of the human heart, as well as through eroticism beyond the body.



Here is the tentative title listing for the forthcoming series:

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1: Nayika Siddhi
2: Ben-Wa, Pharaoh Of The Pheromones
3: On Va Chez Toi Ou Chez Moi?
4: Laetitia Lockheart’s Luscious Lounge Of Licentious Lovebirds
5: Shanti, Shakti, Shambhu
6: In And Out Of Every Breath (Hong-Sau)
7: Outer Spaces Of Innuendos
8: Lighting The Torch Of Eternity
9: Slow Dancing With The Lips Of The Original One
10: Naked Promise In A Glance
11: Valisa Vincilagnia & The Venus Butterflies
12: Are You Ridin’ Dirty?
13: Daisy Chains And Candy Canes
14: Thick As Thieves Begging On Their Knees
15: Can Your Midnight Cowgirl Play The Fiddle?
16: Transcending The Twilight Worship

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(blushes) The truth is, being the sensual and salacious yet sensitive Scorpio I am, many of my poems have been inspired from erotic fantasies and dreams I have every day. For instance, you may not have previously known this, but my inspiration for the cosmic 2004 summer anthem “Vulpecula Vixen” came from a Suicide Girls model of the same name (“Vixen”) who I developed a huge strange crush on, with her fresh-face, colorful fluorescent deadlocks and her glowing, glaring body.





Also, the actress Susan Ward is the muse who put my song “Fast Company” through the wind tunnel. She is both full of feminine grace and bubbly, mirthful southern hospitality that I have a crush on her too and it inspired this “racey” melody with an old school sound.



And so stay tuned for this mesmerizing meandering through the sensual, mysterious mirror of the mind, as well as many more scintillating summer sprinklers, yay! :) In the meantime, time for me to sink my teeth in Kinky Friedman’s “Elvis, Jesus & Coca-Cola”! Jumpin’ Jehozephat!

XOXO,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)