Confessions Of A Pepper Bar Drama Commodore

Hey, there's been something I've been meaning to ask everyone; "What's up with that creepy plastic king in the new Burger King commericals?" LOL! I was laughing hysterically when I saw that first ad featuring this king climbing through someone's window and waking someone up with a Double Croissan'wich saying, "New! The Double Croissan'wich...egg and meat and cheese and.....meat and cheese...that's right, the Double Croissan'wich...wake up...with the king!" I mean, even if they were going to give you a free sandwich, I can imagine what trouble anyone in a burgundy robe and gargantuan three-times-too-big plastic head would have when sitting on your beside, LOL! (giggles)



We do remember the Burger King from the disco era, who had no plastic head then. So...what's up with this new eerie plastic head?

The answer is an executive at Burger King's ad agency, which was Crispin Porter & Bogusky, thumbed through eBay, where they get many of their avant-garde ideas, when they came across a vintage, oversized King head for sale. Eventually, with the plastic head just sitting there during brainstorming sessions, and a little help from a Hollywoods effect specialist, voila, a new king has taken the throne!



You know what I miss; those Quiznos commercials with the Spongmonkeys! They’re scary, but scary enough to tickle me pink, LOL! What were those two furry things that were the temporary spokesanimals of Quiznos? Hamsters? Gerbils? Somehow I think they might be mice...dead mice anyway. Stop-action animated dead vermin, one with a bowler hat, one with an 18th-century commodore’s hat, both with those maloccluded human teeth and bulging, differing eyeballs. The one with the commodore’s hat is playing a guitar in the commercials, while the other one is singing! LOL! It sounds absolutely harebrained, doesn’t it? They indeed had quite a love-hate relationship, with many describing them in many different ways from "gerbils with birth defects; Mr. Potato Rats; drug-addled, castrato hamsters; and "hell lemurs". I like to think of them as cross-breeds of pygmy marmosets and Furbys born in Monty Python’s make-up room. (does spongmonkey spirograph)

Gotta admit the commercials are catchy if you have heard them though, the close-ups of the subs, the folk music, all springing out at you like cardboard zombies in a haunted house! It’s like an infectious, deranged kind of please-make-it-stop gimmick, with the songs stuck in your head it almost sounds cool. Besides, who can resist such lyrics like these from a mouse that sounds just like Brak on Adult Swim?



"We love the subs! Because they are good to us!
The Quiznos subs.
They are tasty, they are crunchy.
They are warm because they toast them.
They got a pepper barrrrrrr!."

You can see their hit debut single, The Moon Song, here:

http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/

Or...if you want to have the single for your very own, you can download it here off creator Joel Veitch's official web-site:

http://www.rathergood.kewlio.net/songs/We_Like_The_Moon.mp3

Mmmmmmmm...that’s making me hungry, makes me want to head over to the pepper barrrrrrrr right now and dowse my eggs in Jimmy's Batch 81™ Three Pepper Chili Sauce. There’s no place like Quiznos, seriously, where you can get your subs fast made with ciabatta bread! Hehehe, I’ll have trouble sleeping tonight, who knew a jingle would get #1 for the week in spins at KAGL, Mistletoe Angel’s jukebox in his head? Aw well, my mind’s happy, it stays on the playlist!



Yeah, I know, I still watch too much TV! Guess I still need to grow up! LOL! But I’m not crazy at all for the "Big Fat Obnoxious Little Eden Joe Millionaire Simple Life" craze at least! I keep sensible to what I watch I feel: get my daily dose of The Price Is Right, Joy of Painting and The Simpsons, some good clean Monday Night CBS chuckles, Smallville on Wednesday, and Monk on Friday. A grand healthy complete diet I must say! And on Saturday night, I love checking out Public Broadcasting, or my local channel, or QVC or the Home Shopping Network. Gotta love their enthusiasm on those networks!

So, I leave you with my salute to none other than.....the pepper bar! Pepper bar, you have bestowed upon us many memorable tongue tinglings, endorphin engineers and comedic rush-to-the-water-pitcher antics. Hit it, spongmonkeys!



Oh, and by the way, if you've seen this man and he gives you a Croissan'wich, take caution before getting to that egg! I've seen egg like that on a long Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt that tasted like rubber cement!



Dun dun dunnnnnnnn!

Love,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)