A Hell Of A "Heluva"!

Jambo, jambo! Nothing like having two happy days all wrapped up in one single package and tied with a fat satin ribbon, for today is Happy Gazpacho Day AND Happy Mitten Tress Day, and I am simply just sitting back after conquering a cavalcade of flurrying finals early this week and soaking my senses up in the succulent ruminations of Andalusia, while also channeling my libido into skipping out of the house and promoting the pitch for philanthropy, which include starting up Mitten Trees; where area residents are encouraged to contribute items to the tree so other families may also have a bright Christmas, which the mittens and all other clothing items are hung up as ornaments on each tree to then later be delivered to needy families before Christmas. If you're local and you love to knit, donate some hats, mittens and headbands, and spread the magic. :)



Hey, next time you come glissading into the kitchen like a gazelle in your rush to work and you are looking for something that's portable and you can eat fast, what'cha gonna pick up? A bran muffin perhaps, perhaps an Eggo omelette? Wrongo! You need something that conjures your most daring depths of dopamine; a paradigmatic parfet that can polish and prank your prodigious palette, and also something you can furnish your thermos with. Radio people like me do it with frequency, LOL, and there's nothing like gazpacho to both offer me the repose of cilantro and get my endorphins fired up with the garlic gusto and serrano seduction! :)



The history of gazpacho is rooted in the southern Spanish Shangri-la of Andalusia, where this liquid salad, made of ripe tomatoes, bell peppers, cucumbers, garlic, and bread moistened with water, then blended with olive oil, vinegar, and ice water and finally served home cold. It is Andalusia's best known dish and is said to have originated as a soup during the time when Spain was part of the Islamic world in the Middle Ages. It was then the Spaniards called it ajo blanco, which contained garlic, almonds, bread, olive oil, vinegar, and salt. Ajo blanco is today associated with Málaga and made with fresh grapes.



In the acclaimed publication Marquesa de Parabere, it claims that garlic soup constitutes one of Spain's two contributions to soup making, while the other is cocida or olla, which migrated to France as pot-au-feu. Therefore, it comes to no surprise why, to this day, gazpacho comes in a variety of different ways, some of which contain almonds, some with no tomatoes and peppers (tomatoes and peppers came to gazpacho after Columbus), some with my signature blend of red chile paste and cajun spices, etc. :)



To this day, the origin of the word remains one puzzling question that continues to plague both gastronomists and food freaks alike, but etymologists believe it might be derived from the Mozarab word caspa, meaning "residue" or "fragments," an allusion to the small pieces of bread and vegetables in a gazpacho soup. Whatever its origin may be, the syllables certainly can scream like Celia Cruz! :)



So how'd gazapacho creep across the world like kudzu vines and take the world hostage? It's said to be the result of Eugenia de Montijo, the wife of the French Emperor Napoleon III in the nineteenth century. Who knew?



Gazpacho has also invaded pop culture as well, from the science-fiction Red Dwarf, when one character is lost in a radiation leak with his last words being "gazpacho soup", and when resurrected as a hologram and was told to explain why these were his last words, he recounts his tale of humiliation as a young officer cadet, in which he embarrassed himself in front of senior officers by complaining to the waiter that the gazpacho soup was cold, and ends up eating a "bowl of piping hot gazpacho soup"...to The Simpsons, when Lisa, becoming a vegetarian for the first time, announces she has made gazpacho for all, and Barney Gumble replies, "Go back to Russia!" (giggles)



So remember, O' fidus Achates; NEVER, under any circumstance, nuke your gazpacho, in sparing yourself of any embarrassment that can scar you for life. There are no rules to how you can prepare this liquid salad in terms of ingredients (but there better be garlic in mine, LOL!). And finally, if you need someone to share some gazpacho with, Eugenia de Montijo has all the time in the world! (giggles)



Finally, I'd like to take a moment to talk with you about gender, LOL! Courtesy of my wonderful poet friend and sidekick Nancy Lee (she goes by the name Enchantress on Passions In Poetry, yay! :) ) and a host of other anonymous guffaw spam-cadets, I have this to share with you! :)

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Subject: Gender

Everything Has A Gender. You may not know this, but many nonliving things have a gender.

1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!

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(giggles) Hey, are y'all hitting on me here? Ohhhhh...I can read all your taste buds like a Zip-Loc bag when its 72 and sunny out! LOL!



Happy Gazpacho Regurgitations to all, and.....oh yeah...lemme give you a mitten as a warm token of my appreciation, friends!

Love,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)