Orthorexisaurus Rex

Even those who are most optimistic and happy about themselves could experience times of imbalance and insecurity in their lives. Back when I lived in the suburbs of Colorado, as much as Colorado will always be a home to me and many of my fondest memories will be of enchanting places like Hanging Lake, the Glenwood Canyon and Chaco Canyon among others, I also felt socially isolated being swamped in the suburbs, with nowhere to walk to and no one to really communicate with. Most days I'd just stay indoors all the time, watching Cartoon Network and, because I used to be a carnivore back then, I did eat a whole lot of meat, as well as many snacks throughout the day. I've never been obese or even overweight in my life, but I ate a lot back when I lived in the suburbs and my weight in comparison with all other American males my age was slightly higher than the average (55-60% percentile)



Now, ever since I've moved to Portland, Oregon and have converted to vegetarianism, my eating habits have radically shifted to the extreme. To give you an idea of how radically they've changed, last week my scale recorded I weighed 132.5, indicating I have lost 27 pounds since moving here. I became a vegetarian because though I admit I did indeed enjoy the taste of most meats as a child, I have also always loved animals and I did always feel a sense of guilt when I ate venison jerky on occasional weekend trips to Rocky Mountain National Park, and sesame chicken at the Tea Garden Chinese Restaurant back in Arvada on the corner of Ralston Road and 62nd Place. In fact, I have always felt so sensitive about animals that every Easter when I got Marshmallow Peeps as a boy, I could never eat them because they just looked sooooooooo cute and innocent.



My feelings of guilt began particularly in 1998 when I read in the Denver Post that at an Excel Corporation beef plant in Fort Morgan, Colorado, production was halted for a day tha year after workers allegedly cut off the leg of a live cow whose limbs had become wedged in a piece of machinery. U.S inspectors launched an investigation, and found in subsequent stories that the plant had been part of a string of violations fr the two years before as well, including the cutting and skinning of live cattle. And the more I heard of increasing slaughterhouse abuse of animals over the years, including chopping hooves off live cattle at IBP plants, the more I cried reading those stories, and I knew I just couldn't stand for this anymore, that even if I knew my intentions were good and I never wished endorsing these acts from the beginning, unfortunately the mighty dollar can go to allow these things whether you like it or not. I wanted to get this superficial blood off my hands, so several years ago I called it quits and have been a proud vegetarian ever since.



However, as can be expected from any 180 degree turn, it can radically change or alter your regular habits as well. The truth is, I am coping with an eating disorder in what is commonly known as Orthorexia nervosa, a term coined by Steven Bratman, M.D which continues to be debated, which he defines as "taking the concept of healthy eating to such an extreme that it becomes an obsession." or a "fixation on righteous eating." He adds that sometimes orthorexia can go beyond a mere lifestyle choice, and "progress to the point where it crowds out other activities and interests, impairs relationships, and even becomes physically dangerous.", and in the event that happens, "orthorexia takes on the dimensions of a true eating disorder, like anorexia nervosa or bulimia."



I recently realized I have a mild or moderate case of orthorexia when I found myself recognizing myself in questions including, "Do you wish that occasionally you could just eat, and not think about whether it’s good for you?" and "Has your diet made you socially isolated?". I believe I'm absolutely strong and capable enough to prevent my fixation on healthy food from generating ego conflicts toward my peers who do eat otherwise and such, but I have been struggling with other aspects, such as skipping foods I once enjoyed to have what is "right", and by limiting the times I eat more than ever.



This week, I didn't eat on Tuesday or Thursday, putting me in one 42-hour period and another 46-hour period without eating at all. On Monday evening, I had these delicious vegan wraps with sesame hummus, sweet potatoes and artichoke while running the air room for the KBOO Pledge Drive, and didn't eat again until Wednesday afternoon, when I walked across the Willamette River on Burnside Avenue to KBOO after my morning "American Fiction III" class and enjoyed some curried potatoes, peas, garbanzo beans and artichoke hearts from the Blossoming Lotus cafe. Then I had a package of Thai Pavilion Citrus Rice Noodles for dinner, but didn't eat again until last night, when I made some rice at home.



The week before, while helping out the KBOO News Department during Spring Break, a local cafe provided some salads, and I had a spinach salad topped with raspberry dressing and hazelnuts, and my super-cool chihuahua friend Lisa Loving, who is the KBOO News & Public Affairs Director, said, with the exception of the occasional cookie I eat of hers because she's a super-cool friend who loves baking daily batches of cookies from chocolate-chip to oatmeal to snickerdoodles, that this was the first time she saw me eating at KBOO.



I'm truly not trying to turn into Lindsay Lohan, and clinching my fingers over a self-destruction button in my body, nor am I meaning to try and set a bad example for the youth community out there in struggling with this eating disorder. I guess the main driving factor behind my battle here is that I've had a growing fear and/or distrust toward many foods with the way the FDA has gotten all tangled up in red tape and lobbying and has went reckless over accountability and oversight of food products, while Monsanto now owns 1/3 of all organic seeds in the world and are among a wide number of forces encouraging the proliferation of genetically-modified organisms, including in Kellogg's breakfast cereals where the oil used in them are coming soon from genetically-modified soybeans. Throughout my life I've had a distrust and scare of aspartame (found in NutraSweet, Splendor, Equal and other sweeteners) of beverages like Kool-Aid which have cancer-causing agents worse than red #40, among other things. I want my body to be purified from these cyclamates and synthetics, and want to rely on Mother Nature's recipes to effloresce and ripen in this world; carrots to keep my eyesight sharp, oranges and pomegrantates to make my immune system a fortress, yohimbe bark and ma huang to keep my sex drive volcanic red-hot and 100% organic, and when I make love with my dream girl for the first time, I want her heart to quiver above 130 beats per minute, shower her with endorphins that relax her and make her fall into a blissful deep sleep, ejaculate and make blood flow to her skin to make it glow more vibrant and healthy than ever before, without ever touching Levitra or Cialis.



I just want to say for those reading who are coping with a similar disorder or are considering following this path, please make an effort to find balance in your life, as balance is essential for everyone to ensure a healthy lifestyle, especially for children and young adults, and as my dearest angelic friend Earth Angel said, "You have so many things yet to do in life and you need the health, strength and vitality to do it!" I've promised her I'm vowing to make an effort to moderate and balance myself more, and I'll be a Scorpio who will overcome living in extremes and find solace living more in the center! Benjamin Disraeli said, "The secret of success is constancy to purpose." and I will get right down to the root of the meaning of the word and follow through! And not just because it's All Is Ours Day either! (giggles)

So I beseech you, continue to stay away from Splendor sweetener, but don't hesitate to enjoy a nice bag of Honey Dijon Kettle Chips once in a while. Best you limit getting wallopped with Hawaiian Punch, but, hey, who can't resist a slab of cookie dough on a weekend? And for all you women out there, saw palmetto is one wonderful ingredient in promoting sexual health and female functions, siberian ginseng helps sustain energy and sweeps away that cortisol, and histidine and Vitamin B-6 are what helps the histamine domineer your body, guaranteeing the best orgasmic experiences and the shiniest flush to the natural skin, but a little chocolate fondue body feast or a candy G-string can be just as satisfying! (giggles)



National Jelly Bean Day is rapidly approaching this April 22nd! That'll make one marmaladic, eyewashing, infectiously confectious opportunity to let live with your taste buds without much guilt! (giggles) Until then, if you spend too much time warming up, you'll miss the race, and I'm racing to the refrigerator to get me a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup or two!

XOXO,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)