Candidate For Lamest Poem Ever?

Hey, though I am definitely proud of some poems that I have written, there's one quote that couldn't ring truer; we are our own worst critics. Indeed, I'm willing to admit I do write some pretty silly, nonsenical poems every now and then, which I look back on and laugh, but all the same it is THESE poems that only bring out the endorphins in all our hearts and sugar-coat life with amusement and reflection! :)

With that said, here's the poem I believe has got to be the single most silliest, lamest poem I have EVER written, LOL! I wrote this silly little poem during the NHL Finals in 2003, when the Anaheim Mighty Ducks shocked the world in becoming one of NHL's most memorable limited Cinderella stories and rallying to sweep the top-seeded Detroit Red Wings and Dallas Stars in the playoffs, and barely, just barely, missing the Stanley Cup. LOL! Take a look at this, and hold onto your coasters! (giggles)



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Quack Quack Rap
(If It Looks Like A Duck, Walks Like A Duck, And Quacks Like A Duck...It Probably Is A Duck!)
By: Noah Eaton
4/27/03

"If it looks like a duck
If it walks like a duck
If it quacks like a duck,
it probably is a duck."
"If it looks like a duck
If it walks like a duck
If it quacks like a duck,
it probably is a duck."

They're north, south, west, and east
Along the Equator, Prime Meridian, and the Seven Seas
Looks like not anytime soon they are going to go away
Surrounding the Pacific coast and paddling all along Hudson Bay
Come and read the Hawaiian proverb from my palm
"When the frigate bird flies out to sea, the rough sea will grow calm."
They don't have fear and they don't have qualms
Even in the winter they can recrudesce and resolve
It's "not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck
That leads the flock to fly and follow." so press your luck
So here they come, at full force and speed
Quack, quack, beware of the graceful Flying V!

"If it looks like a duck
If it walks like a duck
If it quacks like a duck,
it probably is a duck."
"If it looks like a duck
If it walks like a duck
If it quacks like a duck,
it probably is a duck."



New Jersey Devils think they have all the heat
But you know behaving like a duck is the way to be
"Always behave like a duck!" Jacob Braude told me,
"Keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath."
And you Dallas Stars, time for night-night
Sleep tight, don't let those bed bugs bite
Hey, is there something creeping under the rug?
Watch as they stomp on that like a duck on a June bug!
On behalf of my Majesty, Emilio Estevez
This season the Ducks own Lord Stanley's epithet
Cause too many words are just too scared to swim for it
"Some birds avoid the water, ducks seek it"

"If it looks like a duck
If it walks like a duck
If it quacks like a duck,
it probably is a duck."
"If it looks like a duck
If it walks like a duck
If it quacks like a duck,
it probably is a duck."



It's "the bird that calls the canoe to sail."
So you better bail, they'll always be on your tail
So surrender quietly, don't make them pluck
For "it's as hard to see a woman crying as it is to see a barefooted duck."
Ottawa Senators, you think you're the res publica?
You must be mistaken, I don't see your res judicata!
Tampa Bay Lightning, you ain't very frightening
But to the waterfowl that ain't very suprising
We're more wild than Minnesota and looser than Vancouver
With all the golden eggs we lay, who cares if it's the goose or the gander?
Our quacks can put a quiver in your liver
In our flock we gots more brotherly love than Philadelphia Flyers
Heck, we don't even need that power play
5-on-5 is where we've always got game
Are you prepared to dare to compare
With the "Marathon Man" connoisseur Giguere?
Look out, here comes Kariya, "The Fifth Element"
Watch him speed past Modano, Langenbrunner, Naslund and Roenick
We're Mallards, Laysan Teals, red-crested and ring-necked
Mandarin, rosy-billed, even canvas-backed
We hide in tree holes, undergrowth, rushes and reeds
So look out, here we go in our Flying V
Quack quack quack, better press your luck
Here come the Mighty Ducks!

"If it looks like a duck
If it walks like a duck
If it quacks like a duck,
it probably is a duck."
"If it looks like a duck
If it walks like a duck
If it quacks like a duck,
it probably is a duck."

Everybody say, "Quack!"
Lord Stanley's in da bag
Everybody say, "Quack!"
Lord Stanley's in da bag

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Back from where I grew up, in Colorado, hockey has become big there, and my dad loves watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs. To be honest, I'm not much of a fan of professional sports, but I love underdog and Cinderella stories, so that's what inspired this! LOL!



Just a little pre-weekend endorphin fuel! Care to share some of your own candidates? (giggles)

Love,
Noah Eaton
(Mistletoe Angel)
(Emmanuel Endorphin)